


everything falls off so easy when you’re chasing dreams

by tvconnoisseur



Category: Secret Circle (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-01
Updated: 2011-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-24 05:49:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/259694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvconnoisseur/pseuds/tvconnoisseur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Do I have anything to worry about with you and Cassie?”</i>  She would give anything to have Adam look into her again, instead of past her.</p><p>Episode tag for 1x02, "Bound".</p>
            </blockquote>





	everything falls off so easy when you’re chasing dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Unpopular Fangirl Opinion: I love Diana and Adam together. I don't care if Cassie and Adam are "written in the stars"; Diana and Adam have fantastic chemistry and boy if Diana doesn't love him just a little too much. (Of course, plot-wise, I can't wait for Cassie and Adam to hook up because it will turn Diana completely, epically evil. But as far as my current otp, it's Diana/Adam.)
> 
> Title comes from January's "Our Jewel", which plays during this scene.

Adam drives her home like he’s done a million times before.  He turns off the car, saving the gas for conversation.  He used to save the gas for prolonged kisses, but ever since Cassie Blake came into the picture, it’s like there’s a wall between the two of them that Diana can’t break down.

Her eyes fall into her lap.  “I’ll get the book.  You drive Cassie to the beach.”  The last thing she wants to do is sit in the car with the two of them, Faye’s taunts giving her whiplash.

Adam looks at her like there’s something behind her, not something evil, but something much more worrisome.  It’s a small change, one she wonders if he notices.  But he used to look _into_ her, like he could rest inside her soul if he tried hard enough.  And for three years, he did:  all passion and desire and most of all, friendship.  Friendship caught on fire.  They would make spells and make love and at night, he would trace circles in her skin and she was sure that the whole house in the woods would come down in flames.

The moment grows more stagnant and Adam sighs, at a loss for communication.  They never had this problem before.  They could talk or be silent, but either way, it was never uncomfortable.  She wants to rip this moment apart, but she can’t figure out a way to do it.

“Well, you did it,” he finally rests on.  “You convinced her to bind the circle with us.”

She smiles at him, a thin, hard smile out of obligation.  After all, _she_ told Adam to help her convince Cassie to join them.  She can’t blame Cassie Blake any more than she can blame herself.  She _needs_ Cassie.  She needs her to help bind the circle, to rein Faye in before they expose themselves or, worse, hurt someone more than Sally Matthews was hurt tonight.  Binding the circle is the ultimate way to stay in control and if Diana needs something more than she needs Adam or Cassie, she needs to stay in control.

( _You don’t know what you’re doing_ , her mind whispers to her.  _There’s only so far you can fool the world before it all comes crashing down._ )

The one thing she wished for—to complete and bind the circle—and yet she no longer wants it.  She would trade all the magic in the world to send Cassie back home, away from Chance Harbor.  She would give anything to have Adam look into her again, instead of past her.

The thought of Adam making magic with Cassie makes her sick inside, like her heart is being eaten from the inside out.  From the moment they discovered their powers and she discovered the book, she and Adam would only make magic together.  It wasn’t like Faye and Melissa and Nick who felt the need to swap partners more often then they changed their clothes.  Magic was special.  Magic was theirs and theirs alone.

He continues rambling.  “I don’t know what to expect, do you?”

“No, not really,” she answers.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she does know one thing: binding the circle means no more independent magic.  If she told Faye that, Faye would freak and never agree to it.  She doesn’t even tell Adam.  She doesn’t tell him because she hopes that more than reining Faye in, binding the circle will rein Adam in, bring him closer to her, force him to be with her if he wants to make magic and control whatever incidental magical lust that has been flickering between him and Cassie.

( _He could still make magic with Cassie_ , her mind whispers again.  _But he’d have to seek her out,_ she responds.  _And he wouldn’t do that, would he?_ )

“So how do we know it’ll work?” he asks.

“I don’t know, Adam.  I just found the stupid book, I didn’t go looking for it, I don’t know any more than you or anyone else.”  Her voice comes out thin, and she’s surprised that she’s this close to tears.  She never wanted to be the kind of girl who would cry over a boy, but here she is, heart spiraling.

He leans over, his hand behind her seat.  “What’s going on?”  He knows her so well.

“Nothing,” she insists, refusing to look at him.  She considers leaving it there, making Adam think she’s the confident, in control girl he’s always known, but she can’t.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I pretend like I do, but…” Her heart is swallowed in her chest.  “Do I have anything to worry about with you and Cassie?”

His eyes narrow.  “Why would you ask that?”  It’s a far cry from _No_ and mere steps away from _Yes._

“Because I’m insecure,” she confesses.  “And I love you.”  Love feels like all too small a word to encompass everything she feels for him, but it’s the only word she has.

He rolls his eyes, like she’s acting ridiculously.  (Oh, how she wishes she were.)  “Come here,” he murmurs, pulling her into a kiss.

It’s soft and practiced, but her heart stops all the same.  When he pulls away, she breathes in tears instead of air.

“I…love you, too.” He says it and for a brief second, he looks _into_ her and her whole being ignites.

When he kisses her again, it’s like nothing she’s ever felt before.  She realizes that this is the first time they’ve kissed like this since Cassie came and their powers exploded.  Electricity courses through her and his fingers burn into her skin.  His lips taste like oxygen after being underwater for a very long time.  She can’t fathom ever being this in love with anyone this much ever again, wanting to be so utterly consumed.  She can actually feel the seat beneath her grow warmer and steam rises from the engine of the car with a steady hiss.

She almost forgets that they need to get a move on and bind the circle, but then Adam stops kissing her and the world comes crashing back to normal.

“I’ll pick up Cassie,” he says gruffly.  His eyes look past her again.

Diana nods.  “I’ll meet you there.”

He drives away and Diana hugs herself for warmth.  Cassie may be shiny and new, but it can’t be possible to love more than Diana and Adam had loved in that instant, can it?  Powers igniting, engines steaming.  It means something.  _They_ mean something.

And she’ll be damned if she lets him go without a fight.


End file.
